Addiction Relapse Prevention: The Role of Spouses and Families

Drug and alcohol addiction can affect the entire family as much as the individual. We believe the success of an alcohol and drug recovery program hinges on the involvement of those spouses and families directly affected.

One of the most challenging parts of a successful alcohol and drug recovery program is relapse prevention.

While in a residential rehab program, recovering addicts have various outlets for their addiction urges. Their schedule is structured and solid. Their daily activities are closely monitored.

But once out of a structured environment, managing recovery can become much more challenging for recovering addicts. Re-entering the social pitfalls of the real world can prove difficult, and that is exactly where the relapse prevention phase of the program begins. Spouses and family members who have been affected by this addiction in the past may find it difficult to know exactly how best to help.

Addiction is a Family Disease

Al-Anon states on their website that alcoholism is a family disease. The disease affects all those who have a relationship with a problem drinker. Those closest to the alcoholic suffer the most. They react to the alcoholic's behavior. They focus on them, what they do, where they are, how much they drink. They try to control their drinking for them.

This is not a healthy role for spouses and family members. A recent study, conducted by William Fals-Stewart of the State University of New York at Buffalo, found that men recovering from substance abuse are less successful if they believe their spouse or partner is critical of them, rather than supportive.

The study found that of 106 married men studied, those who reported greater criticism from their partners were more likely to have relapsed, regardless of the severity of their drug problem, age or race. It is especially easy to be critical when a relapse occurs because family members often take it as a personal failure.

Relapse Prevention is a Family Responsibility

The best thing family members can do is to be proactive. Do not enable the relapse in any way. If you are serving alcoholic drinks, pull the recovering alcoholic aside and quietly let them know you have non-alcoholic drinks available too. Do not serve dishes cooked with alcohol. Try to create an overall loving and supportive atmosphere.

Make it easy for them to stay clean by being aware of the 17 most common relapse triggers. If a recovering addict experiences these, their recovery can be compromised.

1. Going into difficult situations like visiting a favorite bar or hanging out with friends who are still using
2. Keeping isolated by not attending meetings or working with my sponsor
3. Keeping any type of alcohol, drugs or paraphernalia around the house for any reason
4. Obsessing about using drugs or drinking
5. Skipping doctor‘s appointments, stopping your therapy and generally failing to follow your overall relapse prevention treatment plan
6. Feeling strong enough to handle recovery alone
7. Having a strained relationship with a spouse who still uses alcohol or drugs
8. Setting expectations too high and being too hard on oneself when things do not progress perfectly
9. Changing routine
10. Ignoring sudden changes in psychiatric symptoms such as depression, anxiety, anger
11. Dwelling on unresolved conflicts or past hurts
12. Transferring substance abuse addiction to other addictions
13. Extreme emotional life changes
14. Ignoring warning signs and triggers
15. Refusing to deal with personal problems
16. Not having awareness of limitations
17. Stopping medications against a doctor‘s advice

The last thing to note is that this addiction is not their fault. Because addiction is a disease, your spouse or family member is not to blame anymore than someone afflicted with cancer is to blame. Although it is easy to assign blame when you have been hurt, it does nothing to help with relapse prevention.

If they have tried treatment programs in the past with no success, then it may be time for a more extensive program. The 90-day program at Mark Houston Recovery provides residents with the time they need to not only break their addiction, but also acquire the necessary life skills and habits they need for successful relapse prevention.